Why First-Time Home Buyers Keep Getting Outbid in San Francisco : A Bay Area REALTOR®'s honest take on multiple offers, buyer fatigue, and the fear of overpaying.

Ever wonder why it can take three or four offers before you finally get one accepted?As a REALTOR® who works mostly with first-time home buyers, I’ll say it bluntly: a lot of buyers need to try it their way themselves before they’re ready to take their REALTOR®’s advice. They think their first offer is already very generous (and it is), but it's usually just not enough to make the cut. And I get it. You don’t want to overpay. It’s a lot of money. Probably more money than you’ve ever spent on anything in your life.So you make your first offer at a number that feels comfortable. You lose. Maybe you’re somewhere in the middle. Maybe you’re dead last.Second offer. You go a little higher. You’re thinking, “Okay, maybe this gets us into the top two or three. At least we’ll get a counter.”And then… nothing. You’re still somewhere in the middle.But why?Because you may be bidding against the same buyers you competed with last weekend. If you’re looking for a three-bedroom, two-bath home in a specific neighborhood, guess what? So are they. You’re all touring the same houses, looking at the same sales, and adjusting after the same losses.Now you’re on offer number three. Maybe you’re hoping a few buyers are tired and taking a break. Maybe this is the house where everyone else decides the price is too crazy and backs off.So you stretch. Just a smidge. Still below what your REALTOR® thinks it will take, but more than you were comfortable offering last time.Then the winning offer comes in above the number you already thought was crazy.More homes come on the market. You’re still seeing the same buyers at the open houses. And now you’re on offer number four.At this point, your attitude has gone from “Let’s just try it” to “What do we need to do to get this house?”You offer a number you never imagined spending when you started.And you win.Then, while your lender reviews everything, you spend the next couple of weeks wondering, “Wait. Did we overpay?”The excitement is real. So is the sticker shock. Both can happen at the same time.That $10,000 couch you had saved on Pinterest? It might have to wait.Of course, this plays out differently in a slower market, or with a house that’s been sitting long enough for everyone to start asking what’s wrong with it.But in a competitive market, the other buyers are learning right alongside you. A number that might have worked a few weeks ago may not work today.That’s why I want my buyers to understand the competition and get clear on their limits early. Because by offer number four, frustration can start making decisions for you.And “I’m tired of losing” is an expensive place to negotiate from.And if you think about it, had you listened to your REALTOR® on offer number one, you might’ve paid less than what you ended up paying on offer number four.But of course, then you’d be wondering, “Wait, why was that so easy? Did I offer too much?”You lose, you wonder if you should’ve offered more. You win, you wonder if you should’ve offered less.So really, there’s no winning in this world of home buying. But hey, at least you’re in good company and you own your first home! That's all that matters. Cheers!